This one goes out to everybody with a body, that's you!
Having a healthy body image and feeling comfortable, confident and happy in your skin is something absolutely worth striving for.
The reality is, that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and there's not one body the exact same. So why strive to fit someone else's mould?
It's so important to embrace the individuality of your own beautiful body and cultivate unconditional self-love throughout every phase and change you go through. Remember, you only get one body and it's yours for life, so make sure you treat her like your very best friend.
Our Mindset Coach Alexis is here to start the conversation around body image and provide some actionable advice to help you boost your body confidence.
This week's topic on body image, or to a larger degree, body dysmorphia, is something that so many of us have experienced or continue to experience in our lives.
Body dysmorphia is the obsessive focus of flaws in your physical appearance, and is a constant feeling of not looking good enough. This also shows up as the need to look like someone else.
Placing your value as a person on your appearance is a dangerous thing to do, because you are using your appearance to gain external validation to feel that you are enough.
When you do this, you then strengthen your own belief that you need others to make you feel enough, and others to make you like yourself.
But the truth is, no level of physical ‘perfection’ can make you love yourself or make you happy, although it does feel like it would.
I know it can seem like those who get attention because of their looks are destined to be happier and more successful, but that is not the case.
Mental health issues exist in all kinds of people no matter how you look, and no matter how much external validation you receive.
So what can you do to start to change how you feel about yourself, and at the same time, to feel validated?
WORK ON YOUR REAL HUMAN NEEDS
Firstly, you need to understand where true happiness and self love comes from (and it's not ‘beauty’ or ‘hotness’).
By understanding what some of our basic human needs are and catering to them, you will almost instantly start to change your inner dialogue.
The needs that I think are relevant to self love are:
1. Your need for growth
2. Your need for a purpose, and;
3. Your need for REAL human connection.
If you have these three things firing on all cylinders, you will feel SELF validation, you will feel in control, and empowered.
When all these feelings arise, you will also feel unique, like you have something to offer (to yourself and to others) and you will feel true peace (because your validation starts to come from within and not without).
So, if you find yourself always comparing yourself to others, it is because you are not doing enough in the areas of self-purpose or growth.
You likely feel threatened that they have something you don’t, and feel that they can get more (in the way of attention or opportunities) than you.
If you are able to gain knowledge, skills and personality attributes that make you feel good and fulfilled, all these external threats drop away.
People stop becoming a threat the more you work on who you are, as you become a person that no one could compare to, because of how unique you are and what you have to offer to the world. Regardless of how you look.
When this starts to happen, you start to respect yourself deeply. You appreciate the work you have done, the journey you have gone on and the connections and experiences you have accumulated.
These things are brought to the forefront and the rest seems menial. It’s easy to get caught up in this spiral of not feeling good enough or of comparison, but it is all an external fabrication and it is does not have to be your reality.
My next tip:
CHANGE WHO YOUR ROLE MODELS ARE
Think about some of the people you admire. Are you only wanting to be like someone because they look ‘hot’ and you wish that was you?
Or are your role models people that rock the look you have?
Are they people who are empowering and confident, no matter how they look? Are these people strong and bold and have a message to share?
Start to curate the list of people you follow or look up to. Make some edits here because you are REFLECTING what you allow into your mind, and your mind is what decides if you love yourself or not.
So time to get cracking on some of these things. Take a look at if you are working on your human needs and who you have chosen to be your role models. Where can you make some changes?
The faster you do this, the faster you will start to respect yourself and your body, and then love yourself for it.
Mindset Coach Alexis xx